요즘 혼자 생각하는 시간이 많아졌습니다. 그러고 보니 최근에는 저만의 밀실에서 저 자신을 생각해본 적이 거의 없었던 것 같습니다. 마음의 여유가 없었나 봅니다. 어떻든 견뎌야 한다는 생각만 했을 뿐.
앞으로 무엇을 할지, 무얼 할 수 있을지, 뭘 하고 싶은지 생각해봅니다. 기자 생활 8년차, 아직 모자라는 제 모습. 낼 모래면 한국 나이로 35살. 미래를 어떻게 설계할지 그다지 생각해보지 못한 나. 저는 저 자신에게 너무 게을렀나 봅니다.
이제는 저 자신에게 게으르지 않아야겠다고 다짐해봅니다. 자신을 사랑하지 못하는 이가 누구를 사랑할 수 있고, 타인을 품을 수 있을는지.... 얼마 남지 않은 올해 저만의 밀실에서 그 생각을 정리해보려 합니다. 그 생각이 정리되면 미련없이 그 생각대로 살고 싶군요. 어떤 결론이 나올지 몰라도...
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댓글을 달아 주세요
뭘하고 싶은지가 중요할 것 같습니다.
아직
저도 그 답을 찾지 못했죠,,
그런데 너무 조급해 하지는 마세요.
예, 감사..
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